I haven’t been able to write anything the last few days because I have been busy with work. My work schedule is erratic and I don’t work the same hours each week, so it is hard to plan things. I also have to balance in my school so things can get kind of hectic for me. One of the hardest things is definitely trying to stay on the right track when you are in vulnerable moments. All weekend I have gotten home from work late, especially on saturday when I got home at 11pm. Not only does an erratic schedule make it hard to stay on track, but my actual job does too. I work retail so not only am I on my feet for hours and running back and forth, but I have to deal with all kinds of people. I actually do enjoy interacting with people and I always try to be really friendly and bubbly, but I do come across my fair share of completely self-centered people. I think anyone in retail or waitressing could have a blog dedicated to all the people you come across and the strange things they do. But on top of that the drive home can also add 30minutes to an hour of traffic. The mix of retail work and being stuck in California traffic are enough to make me want to go home and drink heavily. Over the weekend I did break my no alcohol rule and drank some wine, but I did stick to eating healthy.
Another vulnerable time for me is eating out with other people. It sounds stupid and anti-social but I really try to avoid going out to eat with people from work, because they tend to want to go to the most unhealthy places. On sunday I ended up going to lunch with a lady at work and she chose a 50s style diner. Can you imagine what options you have at a 50s diner? That wasn’t exactly the most health conscious era. You have the option of all American food like hot dogs, burgers and fries that you can wash down with a calorie laden milkshake. Or you can wash it down with a soda that didn’t have enough sugar to begin with, so they spoil you by adding extra cherry flavored syrup.
So how are you supposed to stay on track when you are in those vulnerable moments, where you’re so exhausted, or frustrated, or angry, or even depressed that you just don’t care? If I have a long day at work and then I’m stuck in traffic for an hour, I just want to come home and throw my plans in the trash! But that’s when you see how determined you are to stick to your goals, because the fact is life for most people is usually chaotic. In those vulnerable times I just had over the weekend I had to stop and tell myself, “I really want this. I really want to achieve my goal, and if I let myself go offtrack I know I won’t be happy with myself tomorrow”. Knowing that giving in at that vulnerable time will mean just delaying your goals even further can really help to make you aware of what you’re doing. I did allow myself to have 1 or 2 glasses of wine, but I felt like that would be better than carbo-loading on chips or some other junk food. I have to admit I was still frustrated that I drank because alcohol is a diet’s worst enemy. When you drink alcohol your body has to work on metabolizing the alcohol in your body and stops burning fat, or metabolizing any food you’ve eaten. That’s a terrible thing when you’re trying to lose weight. At the same time I am suprised that I didn’t turn to eating mindlessly after work, but I am just determined to succeed this time around. I have a quote on my wall that says,
That quote helps me stay on track because the worst thing is waking up the next day and beating yourself up, wishing that you had just gritted your teeth through the temptations of giving up and held strong. Even when I went out with my friend for lunch, I was the only person in the 50s diner ordering the grilled chicken salad with no cheese. Even though I felt like the whole restaurant stopped to stare at me, mouths gaping open, I was not about to eat my entire day’s worth of calories in a greasy burger. And even though my friend sat across from me eating her second round of fries (they were unlimited at that restaurant), and I’m sure rolling her eyes at my order, I had to stick to my goal.